The Promise of Disembowelment
by The Reading Cat
Summary: Tsunade catches Jiraiya looking at Sakura and he immediately senses the danger. This danger only increases as Sakura and Naruto re-enter the room and the Toad Sage begins to get himself into a tricky situation.


**The Promise of Disembowelment**

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><p>Sakura was walking out of the Hokage's office as Jiraiya entered. He smiled at the girl and watched her go before shutting the door and freezing when he looked at his teammate.<p>

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Were you just looking at my apprentice how I thought you were?"

Jiraiya swallowed. "No, I wouldn't dream of doing that, Tsunade, you'd kill me!"

"I'm not the one you should be worried about." The Hokage snorted.

"Don't get me wrong," Jiraiya began. "She's a pretty figure."

Tsunade crossed her arms.

"But way too young!" He laughed nervously.

"_Out of bounds_ too young," the Hokage replied sternly.

"Yes," Jiraiya nodded and repeated, "Out of bounds too young."

"And way too innocent for your eyes," Tsunade added.

"Young and innocent huh?" Jiraiya mumbled.

Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Tsunade," Jiraiya grinned. "Would you like to swap apprentices?"

"No."

"Naruto tries hard," he bargained.

"Sakura tries too hard." Tsunade smiled and shook her head.

"Well he doesn't try _that_ hard." Jiraiya smiled back.

The door opened and Naruto and Sakura entered the room.

"Speaking of apprentices." Jiraiya smiled at Sakura.

Sakura walked up to the desk and placed down a pile of papers before speaking slowly, "I was just bringing the paperwork, Shishou..." She looked at Jiraiya and raised an eyebrow. "You were talking about us?"

"Yes," the Toad Sage smiled. "We were talking about trading you."

Sakura looked at her mentor. "What did I do?"

Tsunade smirked. "Nothing, Sakura."

Sakura was slightly confused. She felt like she was missing out on a private joke. Walking back to stand by Naruto, she nodded.

"I wouldn't want Granny as a teacher," Naruto mumbled to her. "She's such a slave driver."

Sakura clocked Naruto over the head and shot him a warning look.

"But, Sakura-chan," Naruto pouted. "It's true."

Sakura laughed before agreeing. "I guess."

Jiraiya grinned at her. "I wouldn't be a slave driver."

Sakura titled her head and studied the male Sannin. "I don't know if I'd want you as a teacher."

"Why not?" He frowned.

"I've been on one mission with you," Sakura frowned back, "You spent my money at a women's club."

Jiraiya cleared his throat and glanced at Tsunade, who raised an eyebrow and asked, "I trust you hit him, Sakura?"

Sakura smiled. "It was before I started training with you, Shishou."

"You could hit hard before that," Naruto murmured.

"Yes," Tsunade nodded. "And he only wants you as an apprentice because you're pretty."

"Huh?" Sakura frowned in confusion.

"And innocent," the Hokage added.

Sakura frowned at Jiraiya who raised his hands defensively. "I didn't say that! I said you had a pretty figure."

"Pervy Sensei!" Naruto shouted.

"Hang on now," Jiraiya took a step backwards. "I wasn't implying anything should happen between the two of us."

Sakura's fist tightened.

"I'm surprised you've not hit him yet, Sakura," Tsunade mumbled.

"I would have done if you weren't here, Shishou," Sakura replied with a scowl across her face.

"Likewise." Tsunade smiled.

"He is your teammate," Sakura frowned. "It's your job to keep him under control."

Tsunade laughed. "As my apprentice, I extend that job to you."

"Good." Sakura smiled.

Jiraiya audibly swallowed at the too sweet smile that crossed the pink haired medic's face. He had seen that look before, Tsunade pulled it off very well - usually before beating him within an inch of his life.

Attempting his best smile, Jiraiya looked between the three seemingly pissed off people in the Hokage's office. "Listen, you're just making me dig a hole here..."

Sakura, Naruto and Tsunade waited for him to try and dig his way out of said deep hole.

"Sakura, you're a beautiful kunoichi, you too, Tsunade, but that wasn't the reason I wanted to get rid of Naruto and have you as my apprentice. It's not like I was saying I wanted to sleep with you or something! That offer is open to you though, Tsunade-" Jiraiya opened his mouth to take a deep breath...

...And woke up in the hospital several days later in a great deal of pain. He seemed to have offended Naruto, Sakura and Tsunade all at once, but he didn't know who had beaten him up. From his experience of the trio, it could have been any of them... From how he felt, it was probably all three.

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><p><strong>Author Notes:<strong>

The end. Short I know.

Right... After a mass amount of coursework and homework recently, I've decided to upload this. The clocks have gone forward so it's now nearly 3 AM and I've just finished this.

I'd started it a while back (just the first couple of sentences and felt like finishing it) and I'm uploading it now, perhaps against my better judgement, so I don't change my mind and decide never to upload it.

I feel like it needs revising and polished up a little bit - I'm sure what makes sense to my very tired, early morning mind, will make me face-palm when I wake up. So I'll probably edit it later on today.

At Easter (when I break up from college) I plan to start uploading perhaps three stories... longer ones, instead of these shorts. I was thinking a NaruSaku story, as a couple of people have followed me after two of my NaruSaku shorts.

Whatever time in the world it is for you, I hope you're having a nice day :).

Again this is also uploaded from my iPod so isn't Word spelling/grammar checked, but I'll certainly reread it in the morning.

Thanks for reading! :)


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